My oral fixation has been a thing, for as long as I can remember. Casually chewing on pens and pencils. Drawn to treats I could slowly suck on. Feeling different textures on my lips and tongue. I take my time with the things that go into my mouth. Sometimes I have been told that it is almost obscene. I have an oral fixation. Though I am only currently starting to own it.

Forever Fixated

It is something current and former partners say they notice first. It is a way I choose to flirt often. You know that scene in Clueless where Cher talks about drawing attention to the mouth. That is one hundred percent me when I flirt. It is not a bad tactic and it also makes me realize I have a lot of life lessons I got from that movie.¹

At the same time, it is just me. I will often have something in my mouth when I can. Not always a phallic thing, but other things I can gently chew or suck on. It is calming and keeps me focused. But as I stated before it is only something that I have started to own it. Really lean into this being just a part of me that is always going to be. But why am I only starting to really let it just be a reality of my life?

Shame on Me

I do a lot of things that seem flirty, almost as a reflex and often this fixation is one of them. When I eat certain foods or if I am zoned out. You better believe there is something in my mouth. This has lead to people calling me out on it.  Being accused of doing it to get a rise out of others. Being told that it was slutty of me to draw that kind of attention.

So I started to pull back, not letting myself indulge in an action that was honestly soothing at times when my brain is spinning. But when you are told to stop so much, told it isn’t proper or right. It gets to you. When I started to notice that holding it back was actually affecting me, I stopped to think about it. Did I really want to stop? Why did it matter to them? Why was I letting them decide what I could do?

It was silly. So I just. Stopped. Sure I get looks from time to time. Yes, I know people are likely thinking about all sorts of things. But I just don’t have time to waste on it. It is just how I work. It is only sexual if I make it sexual. I am not responsible for others putting that on me. Reclaiming a part of myself has allowed me to realize the pleasure it brings me.

Oral Fixation and Oral Sex

Though when it does come to my fixation and sex, there is that link. I love giving oral sex in general. It is just a thing for me. It is something I like to give. I have to say that oral sex of any kind is what I think about the most. Most of the time because of my fixation, my thoughts will drift there. The taste, the feelings, and of course the reactions I am causing. I live for it.

The sensory input I get from it is wonderful. Fairly certain I am the kind of person who could do it for hours. Just testing and teasing to see what sensations get what reactions. To know how a specific part will feel against my tongue. My fixation I see as a boon for the pleasure I can give and also receive. As knowing that a partner is enjoying the things I am doing to them, is a pleasure for me.

1. Something to unpack later really.