Monster fucking has been around for quite some time, but really only now does it have such a spotlight shined upon it in more mainstream media. From erotic romance novels to popular movie titles, one can learn a lot about relationships in the monster fucker genre. I am, by far, not the first blogger to write about it. If you have seen the small batch dildo makers on the market, most of them have at least one or two monster dildos for sale – if not just a whole inventory of fantasy dildos.
What I want to talk about today are the excellent relationship habits that can be learned from these stories. While the habits are not unique ones, the monster romance/erotica genre allows us to look at it from a different angle. The genre gives these aspects a fresh look that we just might overlook in a human/human relationship.
I will be referencing a couple of various kinds of monsters and otherworldly beings throughout this post. It will range from the more mundane beings such as fae, werecreatures, and vampires that are closer to humanoid, and up to more wild beings like tentacle beings, demons and angelic beings, and chthonic horrors.
In many of the stories that you can find between human and monster lovers, there is always a brief courting period. This is a time when the monster allows their human companion to adjust and decide for themselves, all while dispelling misconceptions about their creature type or learning the history or backstory of the monster. But also not without showing their clear and obvious interest. I have found this to even be the case in a lot of fated mate situations, though they tend to burn through this period a lot faster than other tropes might.
This time of adjustment and feeling out of the actual relationship is honestly crucial in a lot of these stories. And that isn’t to say there aren’t moments of instant attraction. It’s just a human’s mind sometimes just needs to be able to actually process what is going on. This gives humans a chance to figure out what they want and know that they are not pressured into giving in to anything. It allows the space for a relationship to grow before getting down to the spicier elements of the relationship.
Human Courting
With other humans, we humans tend to understand a lot of things from the get-go based on only a few interactions. But a courting period allows you to really get down to the deeper things sometimes. I’m not saying that it has to be a must for all relationships, but I am saying that depending on your relationship with another person, this can be incredibly beneficial. You can learn that perhaps there is only a physical connection instead of a more romantic-leaning relationship.
There is time to figure out things that might actually be huge red flags for either person. I also feel like it can help with the headlong rush that sometimes happens with new relationship energy, where you can be blind to anything that might be something you wouldn’t otherwise want in a relationship.
While I am sure you are saying that this is an obvious one, I still feel like it’s worth talking about. With a monster/human pairing, consent can sometimes be rather…dubious. The human in question finds themselves in a very odd place. One that might be clouded by fear for a number of reasons. Perhaps the Unseelie Royal is known for their ruthless ways and for cutting anyone down that defies them. Or the ravaging beast of the woods only cares for blood and the screams of its victims. But then there is the monster, waiting.
Perhaps not always patiently, but they still wait. Giving the humans time and space to think, to figure things out for themselves. Waiting until the human is the one to give some form of obvious consent. The monsters recognize the imbalance in the relationship that the initial fear causes. In a story setting, it also allows for the courting period to include some general longing and pining.
Human Consent
By getting clear and enthusiastic consent from their human lover, the implication there is that that fear has been overcome. That the human has gotten to know and trust the monster in question, at least in one form or another. And, above all, this makes it clear that the human isn’t being otherwise pressured by something else, even if that something else is their own mind thinking that they have to do this. You will often also see that even when things are starting to heat up if consent isn’t given, the monster backs off – even when it might absolutely drive them up a wall to do so. Consent is still more important than their need.
In a human-on-human relationship, consent should always be taken into account. And it is also something we often talk about in the sex education and sex blogging community. It’s just that more important. So seeing it portrayed in healthy ways in fantasy settings is honestly a really good thing in my book. It is a little reminder tucked away between all of the steamy plot and chemistry between the two characters that you can have a sexy lead-up while also having consent.
This particular habit of monster-lover media is one of my personal favorites. There is always a period of curiosity between characters, especially when the monster themselves is only somewhat humanoid in that they are bipedal at the very least. It is a period of discovery. Finding out limits and setting boundaries.
After all, this is usually the first time the main character has slept with someone who has tentacles, wings, a snake tongue, or more than one sexual appendage. Claws or no claws? How does biting feel when they have all of those sharp teeth or a jaw large enough to take most of their arm into their mouth? Do they need to ask for things to be taken slow or are they going to just go all-in with their encounter? How does the growling or other non-human sounds that their lover might let out make them feel? And of course, after all of that, what does aftercare look like? With every monster, there are things you have to take time to really learn, and being curious gets you those answers.
On that last part, I have yet to find a story where some kind of aftercare doesn’t take place between lovers. The monster character is normally very doting with their human, knowing full well that their body perhaps isn’t used to what they are being given.
Check-ins are also something that pops up even in the middle of some of the roughest sex, just to make sure that they aren’t literally breaking their partner. Just because they’re monsters doesn’t mean that they don’t care about their human companion. If anything, that gives them more reason to check on them.
Now I do want to say that not all monster-loving stories are going to have this kind of consent and care. There are those that sometimes have dubious consent or even no consent. My recommendation is to make sure you check out things like tags, content warnings, and reviews to make sure it is something you want to be engaging with.
And in real life, the level of consent that is shown in these stories can be easily translated into everyday practice. Be it with new or old relationships, consent is just a good practice to have all around. Check-ins can help you to start recognizing when things might need to slow down or change ahead of time. And there is honestly nothing like making anticipation grow when you are holding back until there is enthusiastic consent. It can be fun and sexy, and all it takes is using your own words. Does this feel good? Do you like that? Where should I touch you? All very easy questions that can be toe-curling with the right tone or inflection.
Recommendations
I didn’t want to finish this post until I gave you some of my favorite monster-loving stories and media. This list is in no way the most extensive, as there is a lot of content out there to be found. These are just some of my personal favorites!
Momolady – This author writes a ton of monster-loving shorts, with just about every monster/creature type you can think of! There are many different pairings and a ton of great representations of LGBTQ stories. Additionally, the stories weave together through interconnected worlds. There is some spicy content within, but not all stories contain it.
Magen Cubed – I’ve been following Magen for a while now, and she has a lot of great romances of various creature types and gender pairings. My favorites are ‘In The Bedroom of Medusa’ and ‘Once She Was Bitten’.
Amazon
Barns & Noble
Heckin’ Lewd: Trans and Nonbinary Erotica – While this anthology is not all monster pairings, there are a number of stories within.
To close out this post, I just want to say that if you are new to the monster-loving side of the internet and found this post helpful, welcome! If you are someone who has had these inclinations and is here to check out what I had to say, let me know what you think in the comments! Or let me know what monster media you enjoy, and what I should check out.
